Matthew 17:20, my favorite verse. "... If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

Monday, January 19, 2015

Romance and Marriage

My husband and I have been happily married over twenty-one years. And because of that, I was recently asked to speak to a group of women about romance and marriage. Following, is what I shared that evening.

How do we keep romance in marriage? In order to begin, the first thing we have to do is empty our heads of negative thoughts. There may be some of you that justifiably have reasons to resent your spouse and might be tempted to put up a mental block to the things I have to say.
Let’s keep in mind, we’re not here to feed negativity. We’re here to learn and grow. How do we do that? With positive thoughts! So pull out a mental drawer and empty your head. Then slam the drawer shut. You can’t open it for the extent of this post and anytime a negative thought starts to creep in, repeat, In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, get thee behind me, Satan! (point A)
Also, you have to come to terms with a couple of nitty-gritty facts. The end result of romance is love-making. If romance is what you’re after, be ready to see it all the way through. Fact number two; as shocking as it sounds, men want to feel wanted and desired as much as women do.
The ideas I’m going to give you will require a servant’s heart, but oft times, our good deeds return good deeds. So if there’s any negative thoughts hanging around, maybe like men are only after one thing or he’d never do that for me, empty your head and repeat, in the name … (you got it, go back to point A)
Okay, let’s get started.
What is romance? According to Google’s dictionary, romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Which in turn, tends to give remoteness from everyday life.

Some synonyms would be: love, passion, adoration, devotion and affection.   
Romance also can be described as to court or woo. Some synonyms to that would be: chase, pursue, seduce. Am I on track?

If you’ve been married for any length of time, these synonyms can get lost in a pile of verbs such as; washing, sweeping, mopping, mowing, fixing.
But they’re not supposed to.
Here’s how you can keep or reinstate romance in your marriage.

For women, this starts in our heads. Throughout the day, prepare yourself for romance. Start by scenting your home with a candle or oil (or a pie baking in the oven) that calms your mind. Remember with fondness a romantic time you’ve had with your spouse in the past and let it fuel your desire for more. Consider some of your favorite qualities about him. Make a mental list and let it bring a smile to your day.

Next, think about your favorite parts of his body. Visualize this. Build on it. (You get the idea.) Since romance starts in our heads, we need to prepare for it in advance.

When he comes home, take time to visit, talk about your day. That way, by evening, your intimate time with your husband won’t be mentally invaded by unresolved issues or tasks.

Do you laugh with your spouse? You should. It relieves tension and builds your friendship, bonding what God tied together. Instead of sharing the latest drama with him about whomever, share the funny thing that happened that day. Or simply play. Buy two nerf guns and have a war, or play flash-light tag (only when the kids are gone as I’ve heard of married couple doing this in the nude). J Think of things that can lead to him pursuing you—since this is natural for him anyway. Then choose to be caught.

Do you like unexpected gifts? Odds are, so does your spouse. For no reason at all, buy him a tool he’s been wanting or a book. This lets him know you were thinking of him. For her, what woman doesn’t like clothing? Maybe a flattering blouse or if that’s too hard, try a magazine she enjoys but doesn’t often purchase, or for either, something as simple as their favorite candy bar. (This is where knowing their lists of favorites can be very handy!)

“Be devoted to one another…Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10).”
Flirt with your husband. When you’re walking across the room, wink, blow him a kiss or just wiggle a little for him. Love is a verb—an action. Actively choose to love him, flirt with him, and enjoy him. Throw in some sexual undertones in a conversation. Stare at him then follow it up with a compliment.
Never stop courting. I choose to remember whom I’m romancing, my husband and my best friend. Therefore, I always prepare to catch his eye, impress him, honor him, elevate him, please him, and smother him in love.
And don’t forget. Kiss passionately every day. Especially as he’s leaving—give him a desire to want to hurry back to you. J
Here's a link to a blog you might find helpful ... Warning: she covers a lot of 'stuff' here, but you don't have to read it all. I found the first half very helpful. The latter ... a little too personal for my taste. :)


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